A Gentle Note of Caution

[narya_flame]

Tis the season for making fannish friends and exploring new journals and communities, via the Snowflake challenge and through other means. Wonderful! I've met some amazing people this way, and continue to do so.

However, the anonymity of the internet does unfortunately afford protection to the small minority of folks who are not quite as they seem. I'd encourage anyone reading this and happily engaging with new acquaintances to have a look at this post by elwinfortuna . Neither Elwin's post nor this one are intended as scaremongering, but - once bitten, several times shy. Trust your instincts and take care out there, gang.

Comments

[pattrose]

Thanks for this. I’ve been very lucky so far. I think I’m not out there too much.

[narya_flame]

Most people are genuinely lovely and just want to chat about their interests with fellow fans. Certainly that's been my experience! As in any community, you get the occasional person that causes drama; it's mostly avoidable, but sometimes bad faith actors aren't easy to spot. I linked Elwin's post because it's a much clearer articulation of the warning signs than I could manage.

[fiachairecht]

I saw two posts vagueing about Snowflake drama and I am very One Fear about the whole thing because. Well. I don't need to tell you lmao.

*hugs*

[narya_flame]

*hugs*

Some drama is inevitable, I guess, but it's never fun for those caught in it.

[fiachairecht]

tha mi an dòchas gun tèid agad air a sheachnadh, a charaid <3

[narya_flame]

Tapadh leat <3 <3 <3

[elwendell]

I think anyone who has been in fandom for more than a few months has met a few of those people. I have learned to be cautious.

[narya_flame]

I have genuinely only encountered one. But yes, caution is a good watch word.

[shirebound]

Thank you for this link, and this reminder.

[narya_flame]

<3 you're welcome.

[sauronnaise]

It's unfortunately this small minority that prevents me from participating in Tolkien oriented Discord servers (except one that is tiny and not active, and another that is a private server of barely 10). It helps that deep down, I'm a jerk myself who's picky about who I like to interact with.

And the seventh warning sign is that they just feel "off." Your gut feels wrong about them. This, in all honesty, has been the best indicator to me over the years of who to invite in and who to avoid. I'm not sure that this is true of everyone, but be aware of what your instincts, your guts, are saying about a person. If your instincts are telling to back off or stay away, listen to them, or at the very least, proceed with caution.
+1000 Cannot be repeated enough. A valuable lesson that's valid offline as well.

With that being said, happy 2024, 2014, 2004 and 1999 to you! (I'm out of touch with all these new year's internet memes lol)

[narya_flame]

I am only in a couple - one that I've been in for ages and know the mods and community well, and another one that's locked down to a few people. The only time I've really had an issue with someone was actually on Dreamwidth, of all places. But yes, caution is a good principle to work by.

Happy new year to you too :)