narya_flame: Young woman drinking aperol in Venice (Default)
I haven't been doing a lot of life posts or fic posts lately, for which there are reasons (life: overwhelming; fic: absence thereof) but apparently I can still find time to scribble down what I had for lunch.

I've been making variations on this since I was a student, and the pandemic has reminded me how much I love cooking with beans and pulses (we had a storecupboard full of them in March 2020, in case we had to isolate at home and couldn't get to the shops, and neither Sam nor I like waste, so we had to come up with ways to use them).  It's a great one to keep in mind for camping trips, too - the ingredients are reasonably portable, no fancy equipment is required, and it can be made as easily on a tiny gas stove as on a cooker at home.

Serves 2

Roughly chop four fat cloves of garlic and cook them very gently in a couple of good glugs of olive oil.  Once the garlic begins to fizz (don't let it colour; lift it off the heat for a few moments if it's going too crazy, and if necessary add another dash of oil to calm things down), drop in 8-10 anchovy fillets, and allow them to slowly separate out into chunks.

Meanwhile, roughly chop a generous fistful of fresh sage.  Once the anchovies are melting into the oil, add the sage, and cook for a further two minutes, stirring gently.

Drain and rinse two 400g cans of butterbeans and add to the sage and anchovy mixture.  Stir through until the beans are evenly coated, and add a few good grinds of black pepper.  (No salt necessary, with the anchovies.)

At this point you have a choice.  Either keep the beans on a low heat, allow them to warm through, and serve as they are with a squeeze of lemon and maybe some salad leaves - or add 300g passata to the pan, turn up the heat, and allow to bubble for 10-15 minutes until slightly reduced, then serve in warmed bowls with bread.

A few stray thoughts:

  • If you're taking the passata route, then dried sage is fine if you don't have fresh.  Use 1-2 tsp, or to taste.  Thyme and/or oregano will also work fine.
  • There's nothing to stop you pre-cooking a batch of dried butterbeans, if that's your preference - I think the texture is nicer, if I'm totally honest, but the point of using the tinned version is ease and speed.
  • Most white beans are fine with this if butterbeans are for some reason unavailable - I've done it with cannellini, haricot beans, or just a mix of whatever's in the cupboard.
  • It's possible to turn the passata version into something slightly fancier (a dinner, rather than a lunch?) by adding chorizo.  Fry it off first of all, in a dry pan if at all possible, or with the barest minimum of olive oil.  Lift it out with a slotted spoon, allow the fat to cool slightly, then add a little more olive oil, then the garlic, and proceed as above.  Add the chorizo back in immediately before adding the beans, use an extra 100g of passata (depending on how much chorizo went in there) and allow to bubble uncovered, very gently, for an hour or so, to let the flavours permeate and intensify.
  • You could throw in a handful of black olives, or some chopped capers (the latter work better with the version without tomato sauce), or even a pinch of chilli flakes. 
  • If I'm making it in winter, I've been known to put a couple of glugs of red wine into the tomato sauce, to make it richer.
narya_flame: Young woman drinking aperol in Venice (Default)
“I’ve always believed things will get better. The sun will shine again, the birds will sing and we’ll all have a lovely day tomorrow.” - Captain Sir Tom Moore
narya_flame: Young woman drinking aperol in Venice (Default)
Screaming in the shower to Judas Priest and AC/DC while the hot water runs through my hair.

Watching my grumpy lady-bunny eating grass as fast as she can, fierce and determined, glaring at us like we might be about to take up the turf.

Breathing in the scent of damp wood chips as I walk past the garden centre on my daily walk.

Realising that it's still light at quarter to four these days.

Remembering that I actually like to climb hills.

Laughing like an idiot at Derry Girls, despite having seen it so many times I could nearly recite the script.

Freshly laundered sheets.  Warm cake.  A bud on the rowan tree.  Someone asking "are you OK?" and actually giving a damn about the answer.  

The little things have made a big difference this week.
narya_flame: Young woman drinking aperol in Venice (Default)
Snowflake Challenge promotional banner with image of white ice crystals/snowflakes on a dark green background. Text: Snowflake Challenge January 1-31

Challenge #4

In your own space, create some goals. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


Hmmmmmm. OK.

I don't know how I feel about this year yet. I want it to be significantly better than 2020 - but the first few months are looking like they will be much the same as last March/April. Stay at home, only leave for essential purposes. For me, lockdown doesn't equal extra productivity - quite the reverse, and I've made my peace with that - so I'm not going to start down the track of "I shall write a novel in three months!" because it won't happen.

If things improve later in the year (i.e. if all goes to plan with the UK vaccine rollout and we don't get any more unwelcome plot twists like jab-resistant mutations, which are two very big ifs), I hope to spend a lot of time in the second half of 2021 doing things with my much-missed friends. If it's safe, I have every intention of being very busy with trips and dinners and long, long walks and nights out and nights in and barbecues and bonfires and parties and (maybe) sporting events and concerts - just generally being able to enjoy the world and the people in it again, and above all being able to have physical contact with someone who isn't my husband. I adore him, but I miss lounging on the sofa in a tangled heap with my friends, and hugging my sister so hard that we both fall over (it's happened more than once).  If the second half of the year brings a lift in restrictions, I can't see myself hitting any arbitrary goals and targets I set myself now, because I'll just want to have fun.

That said, socialising in and of itself can't be a personal target to aim for; it's not in my control.  I can do my best to keep myself and others safe and not spread this thing, but I can't account for others who may not do the same.

So - where does that leave me?

A few days ago [personal profile] elwinfortuna mentioned the idea of a yearly theme, as opposed to a set of resolutions.  Since there are big question marks over what 2021 is going to throw at us, to me this feels like a better choice than a list of resolutions I won't keep.  I've been struggling, though, to think of what my theme could be - but, writing out that long paragraph about the things I've missed, it hit me.  Above all things, I've missed having fun.

I spent a lot of 2020 grousing and sighing and huffing and wishing things were different, and no doubt there'll be some of that this year too.  Really, though, the pandemic has still left me (in theory) with lots of things that I love.  My books.  My writing.  D&D.  (Thank goodness for Zoom.)  The outdoors.  My crazy, ridiculous, horrendously behaved cat.  But I haven't enjoyed all of them in the way I normally would.  There was always the mental noise, the sense of waiting, of feeling fidgety - the inability to settle, the constant search for a temporary mental way out, the endless cycle of clicking and scrolling that invariably ensued.  I was constantly speculating about and pinning hopes on the next government announcement ("We might be able to see one more person!  We might be able to go and sit outside a pub with a drink if we stay two metres apart!").  At the same time I felt guilty that I wasn't "achieving" more.  Why hadn't I lost weight?  Why had I not made myself finally read The Dubliners?  Why wasn't I going out for a run every day, instead of whining about missing the pool?*  Why hadn't I made my house and garden look like something out of Ideal Homes?  Why hadn't I carefully tied all the plot threads of our D&D adventure to my players' character backgrounds, and made them feel like they were starring in an epic fantasy novel, not just messing about doing silly voices through a laptop? 

*Actually there's a very good reason for that, as I remembered last weekend when I twisted my ankle - my joints and tendons are a mess from years of hockey at school and university, and pounding miles of concrete everyday will not do them any good!

So that's going to be my theme for this year.  Fun.  

Whichever way 2021 goes, I'm going to choose to do things I enjoy, for no reason other than I enjoy them.  I'm going to choose books that I want to read, instead of kidding myself that if I try hard enough I really might develop a liking for James Joyce.  I'm going to write and run that homebrew D&D campaign idea, and never mind that it probably won't be as good as a published adventure - nothing ever survives contact with the players anyway.  As soon as we get to a point where physical gatherings are possible again, I'm giving myself permission to spend as much time with my friends as I want, instead of guilt-tripping myself about other things I "should" be doing.  I'm going to make and eat food that I love, and go for walks in beautiful places, and not make either of those things about how many calories I consumed or lost in the process. 

Brace for incoming Mary Poppins moment - I'm also going to lean into the fun of things that I don't always enjoy, or find ways to improve them.  I cannot make myself like cleaning, but I can put AC/DC on at full blast and sing while I do it.  There are elements of my job that are deadly dull - but nothing says I can't move files around in our system while Downton Abbey meanders along in the background.  (I miss my colleagues, but there are some serious perks to working from home!)

So there we go.  Fun.   I'm taking it back - whatever it may end up looking like in a year of uncertainty and change.

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